This whole year has been a pretty big "transformative moment" for me. It's taken me from wanting to be a teacher to actually being a teacher. Those who have watched me know that there has been a shift in who I am. I see it in how I relate to my children, in how I engage with teachers, in how I dress, in how I interact with other children. Along the way there have been much smaller moments that have brought about this shift for me. Some incredibly memorable ones and others so subtle that I don't always notice them happening.
One particularly memorable moment happened for me part way through my long practicum. I had been working through a particularly trying week with my class and was lamenting to my teacher mentor how frustrated I was with not being able to keep the attention of a number of students. I felt like we talked in circles, despite the fact that he had so many encouraging words I really was just not grasping how I could turn things around. He shared with a colleague my frustrations and the next day she came into the lunchroom and sat me down with a group of teachers listening in, with words that really helped me reshape my perspective. She encouraged me that these issues were not unique to me and that the particular group I was working with was a challenge for many teachers before me. Another colleague gave me the advice to set a bottom line and let go of the rest.
I pondered some of the words from my teacher mentor and these other colleagues over the course of a day and woke up the following morning feeling that "lightbulb" moment. I recognized my lack of ability to this point to just see children. All I saw was what I thought they should be, what they should be accomplishing and how they should be accomplishing it. I had this preconceived ideal in my head that they would not live up to because I had not gotten down to their level and individual people and walked them up to what I needed them to be. The days that followed were much more like what a classroom of teacher and students working together should look. I was more relaxed and ready to show them my expectations and they could feel my tensions released. I left the classroom knowing that I needed to first know my students as people, with baggage, burdens, hopes, dreams, experiences and ideas, all different and special. Once I saw them this way I could move into the realm of using those to shape their learning for the year to make it impactful to them and help them see and desire an amazing learning experience.
